But he feels that I would have a better chance getting a job were he lives then him getting a Job where I live but thats not the point. Even seemingly harmless criticism and patronizing comments, too, can take a toll. Im in the same exact boat. I know he is a shy guy, this isnt personal to me hes like it with his friends and they have shared this with me. sometimes i question if he even has time for me at all. I dont know why he continues on with me if he has no interest. Hes a good guy but I dont know why he stopped trying. I finally thought things were getting so much better for both of us. There is a possibility we wont be together if he gets accepted into grad school because its in another state. But I really wanted to build connections to his family because aside from him, I dont know anybody. Its not that those things arent wonderful, its just that I. Weve been together for almost 3 years and Ive stuck out the lack of attention for about a year and it really hurt. Just my opinion. In all reality if he is losing interest youll know in time. 's life, you're sending clear signals that your partner isn't important to you. Just know youre not the only one feelings this Im not sure what is going on because I confront him about it and he says he just hasnt been on his phone. Meaning me. I begun to be desperated just to win him back but hes tough enough to avoid me and forget everything we had. Back as a baby, he said the vet said not to let her sleep or have that on for a while because she is a labradoodle and it makes their hair very knotty and bad for their skin. What if he says he doesnt want to acknowledge the time weve been together? They may not come true. Weve been arguing a lot because I just feel unappreciated, I just want flowers & thoughtfulness like I do for him. So that could also be taking up his time and mind. My boyfriend and I both 21 have been dating for almost 3 years and for almost 2 years he has been serving the military back home with only weekends to spare and while I am in Canada studying for almost a year. Its more about him being a hero. Especially no Valentines or birthday. I am this woman. He will never be that boyfriend ever again. 1) You would start to see your boyfriend noticing how positive, content and a happy individual you are turning out to be suddenly, and then wonder if therell be any other guys whod potentially be eyeing youbecause you are really becoming such a happy and lovely girl. I know this might sound silly compared to all of yours. Just because he's hot and cold doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you and is backing out. Be happy with you. My bf has been acting distance from me lately. I just want the real him back! Keep in mind, he does suffer from depression here and there where he has no energy at times and finds no pleasure in anything. My boyfriend and I started with a lot of stress in our relationship. When Your Husband Still Works With His Ex Affair Partner. 88 years of expert advice and inspiration, for every couple. It is just hurtful to know that he could not even think of doing this one thing for me. But also in the past few months he has also started growing his own pot, which I cant handle. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now.I think were quite compatible cause we dont fight much and understand each other. If, however, your boyfriend really has lost interest in you, then you may have to be painfully honest with yourself. Afterwards hes been making the time but only when I remind him. Life is to short to live on a roller coaster. If this doesnt work for you if he disrespects, ignores, or even abuses you then you need to decide what to do. Does not show any effort at all, but claims to love me so much. He has some really great qualities and some sh**y ones. I just feel like that is so little reassurance for what would be 7 years together, that we would have the possibility to then just maybe live together. Since Christmas hes stopped seeing as much, no nice texts, less phone calls he says its not me & its because hes busy with work but even now on a Friday night hes at his place & im at mine. You cant make him love you, or force him to make an effort in your relationship. We moved forward and ever since our relationship has been better than ever. But Im starting to realize my own self worth. Not to mention, our second date was going to look at a puppy he was looking at after meeting my dog. I started breaking down on zoom and crying. Listen to your intuition, it never lies. For our year and a half anniversary I didnt have money at the time and we were fighting a lot but I made him a good luck bracelet and wrote him a very personal card. I truely love him i said i ll forgive. I see slow progressions here and there. Texting in his way showed me just how little hed been giving me and Id been accepting it. He never tells me anything until i find out or i discuss my issues. Now that we have a son and Im not as fit as I used to be what does he think of me now? I dont know how to stop nagging him and always expecting things but Im so insecure at this point about where we stand and his feelings its like I just need validation. When ALL grocery stores near us are closed saying I dont feel like cooking tonight, we dont have all the ingredients so I say ok why is it that you didnt notice this when you got home from work when stores were open? He gets annoyed and sighs and does the What do you want from me now?? They just seems like some eords. My BF is of course devastated and angry. I feel like he doesnt love me as much as he used to. The times he comes over my house on his days off its really late at night because he says he is tired and wants to lay down the whole day. Those arent just low relationship expectations, theyre unhealthy patterns of behavior. It seems ridiculous, but overachievers will develop workaholic habits and then feel guilty for doing something that they enjoy that isnt more work. My boyfriend of three years got me a card. dont waste your time on a man that is using you. Heres what to do: write down the three strongest emotions you feel about your boyfriends lack of effort in your relationship. And then the other half of me cant help but feel like perhaps he just doesnt want to go on a date with me at all and thats why he never made an effort. Because i often say this to him when i get angry. funny and stupid for I was foolish to be trapped with his flowering words. We recently broke up with him due to the fact that, despite my efforts to express how I didnt feel like a priority, and him apologizing, him not making an effort to see me during the week (Works been crazy) and saying he would call me at night, but not, he did not change and I gave it 2 1/2 weeks. He has way more money than me and said he didnt do anything because he was angry at me. Could you be the one who's not listening? He told me the other day if you dont like the way I am, then leave me. When I try to talk to him about my feelings he never ever knows how to react and just completely closes off from me. Maybe what you see as your boyfriends lack of effort is simply a normal part of being in a solid, comfortable relationship. I would like him to make effort, look up someplace Id like and invite me to go. Girl and guy meet, girl is eager to see guy but cant find him, guy had gotten hit by a car, find each other on a dating app in a city full of a million people and start talking. Also, Ive been having a lot of cheating dreams but Im assuming its because he doesnt make me feel secure in the relationship because of the change. We get along well because we were good friends before the relationship, we have a lot in common, but spent a little time together in person before the relationship, communicating mainly online. Please advice me on this. First I asked him if we could level up our relationship through meeting his and my family. Instead of wishing things were different, practice accepting the fact that you cant change your boyfriend or make him want to spend time with you. I have told him time and time again that this is something i need in a relationship and he admits to not doing enough but has NEVER changed. I miss him terribly. But things went roughed to both of us.. We have been talking for almost a month. he felt i shifted too much of my attention to work and the kids and not enough to him. He doesnt do laundry, dishes, cook or clean. Feel like I am too grown for him. We are doing thanksgiving together. I didnt hear from him till early Sunday morning when I drunk texted him. Why cant he put in the effort? He does spend time with us and financially he is very supportive which Im great full for. I dont know what to do. He doesnt know how to express himself anymore. He says he loves me but he just doesnt act like it. He started withdrawing from me after I asked him 2-3 times to hang out and do things with me. Hi. September came around. It could be, very simply, that your S.O. You dont have to change your personality, but you may need to change your expectations. His excuse was that he had no time because of work. Now, he doesnt put effort. I decided I deserve to be treated with love and respect. He has cheated messages online I found a year ago. I would get so frustrated with him because I really was not asking for much, just a phone call to check on your girlfriend surely is not asking for much. After that he chatted me that hes sorry he didnt give the money and I said im not accepting money for sex. He wont think through things for different perspective. They are both in their 40s and are so happy to find each other. hes sick and theres no cure. If his texts arent super time-sensitive, then its okay to feels as though what they say doesn't matter (and they've stopped talking altogether), then look within. The one girl has sent him particularly sweet friendly messages on Whatsapp a few times so Im even more jealous than I already was. SHE STILL HAD HER HARNOUS ON HER. This might not apply to all guys. Clearly I am not a priority and I deserve better so I think it is time to move on. He never plans to visit me unless I ask him when hes coming, like he doesnt do anything unless I nag him, and I dont want to be a nagging person so I thought its best we go separate ways and see if we can work it out. I am struggling to deal with mine and have decided to back away, which is hard, however I want to see if he makes an effort when Im no longer at his beckon call all the time. But he says that I am the person he wants to build a family with and take care of our children someday. Even on weekends hes working and most days he cant even have dinner at home with me bc his other entrepreneur jobs are calling. My boyfriend had proposed me to marry him on 3rd month dating.. then he was stressed up with his business he didnt know how to handle .. i started helping him and give him directions.. he was getting through in a good way ,though at times i had to push him as he haf started giving up.. but then he broke up with me while am at my work place .. it was terrible..but i couldnt let my personal issues interfere with my work i locked the door of my office and kept on working with tears.. three months later he comes back .. but again he hasnt mentioned he needs a favour .. but he kinda mentioned about something that i was helping him out with telated to his business.. i offered him help yet lol.., and the matter is going well on his favour and he has pulled off again.. bi communication.. am glad i had asked him once if he just came around cause he wanted favour.. he said he still have strong feelings for me.. but deep inside i know he is just using. Wow girl as Im reading this I cant believe I didnt write it lol. You can let go slowly at first and just start seeing other people. SO , I DONT KNOW BUT IM FEELING AT THE END OF MY ROPE. Then we were living in different countries. I just wish he would care more. Everything is fried up. It sounds to me like hes not into you. I have shared my emotions and thoughts to him, he tells me Im over reacting, I am being silly and he is still fully interested in me. My bday in Jan and our 5 year anniversary/V-tines Day was a sh*t show. The next year we talked again. When I text, he ignores them for hours even when he is online in the meantime. He seems to always have excuses. There could be many reasons why your partner is not showing you the affection you desire, and according to therapist, dating and relationship coach and former matchmaker his excuse of not having quality time? (He still didnt) I asked him to please text me if he was going to be late and he got upset with me. This time, it doesnt feel like it will. Let him come to you. He cheated on me and the worst part is that he left like me a cigarette butt. It could be that your partner is losing interest and doesnt know how to communicate that with you," says marriage and family therapist Lynsie Seely. He said I did agree to go to the park this weekend. That also means i cant get a job either. I question why after knowing what he knows, he wont even try to talk to me. maybe its because im his first gf and he doesnt know exactly how to treat one, but it still makes me sad to think that he might not love me that much. I didnt see him so I thought maybe he didnt want to show up. Its a painful truth. So anyways I snuck out again and yeahme and him hung outit was a special moment for me. It feels awful when you feel like you care about him more than he does about you. Because honestly when I do he always comes back around. This article actually helped a lot but I dont rlly know how to let go. Overuse of the phone, computer, social media, and video gamesalong with an unwillingness to unplug even after being askedis a big departure from the early "getting to know you" phase of your relationship when all conversations seemed interesting and all concentration was focused on your time together. Part of me struggles with feeling like this relationship is way way past it expiration date and needs to be taken out back and put out of its misery but at the same time and I just struggling with what is a natural and normal transition into a long-term relationship? So..instead of taking to his office or doing it later. Theres always a chance that this will trigger self-reflection, and he will crawl back, and you can decide whether to give a second chance. This is good advice thanks, Ive been dating my boyfriend for six months now and its been a really hard couple of months for us. But hes tough enough to avoid me and said he didnt give the money and I better. 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